Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Music Reviews: The Mustard Men - "Snuff EP"

If you get easily offended or don't like bad jokes, then the new Mustard Men EP "Snuff" is NOT for you. Snuff if known for being a couple of things. A tobacco based product that you either inhale through the nose or pinch between the lips and gum's. It's also known as being a type of pornographic film in which one of the participants is executed on film after climax, ended the film. My guess is the Mustard Men didn't come up with the title by chewing tobacco.

The album has a sick perverse sense of humor which I enjoy greatly. But I also have a sick sense of humor and find dead baby jokes funny. The album is well played with speed and precision in a more hardcore style than say your average pop/punk band. The songs are short blasts of awesomeness ranging from the shortest, 43 seconds, to the max, 2:55. It definitely a hit and run album.

The band, Scott Wolz (guitar/vocals), Danny Behrens (drums/vocals) and the LaMantia brothers, Matt (guitar/vocals) and Dan (bass/vocals) bash out songs like "Stuntman Mike" and "Box Office Slut" like their lives depend on it. "After Initial Date Sex" is a sick little ditty about a guy who picks up a girl at a bar for a one night stand, only to kick her to the curb in the morning and tell he he just gave her AIDS (take the first letter from each word, and what do you get?). Sure, it's kinda tasteless, but the humor in the way they sing it, along with the subliminal message, will make you at least chuckle, if not fall off your chair in sidesplitting laughter. Like I said earlier, if you're easily offended, stay away.

"Skate" is a day in the life of a (DUH) skater broken down in a blistering 43 seconds. BRILLIANT! If you think that "After Initial Date Sex" was an anti-woman bashing tune, the guys more than make up for it in the PRO-working woman tune "Sexual Harassment". If your boss is a sick little pervert, the Mustard Men think you should "kick him in the dick and take him down a notch." See, their good boy's after all!

The albums 10 tracks clock in at around the 16 minute mark leaving you either wanting more or wanting to go after these guy's with baseball bats. I wanted more myself. Great band. Sick, yet funny, songs. I think the Mustard Men are great. Keep up the good work gentlemen. As the one and only Mike Muir once said "If I offended you, oh I'm sorry. But maybe you need to be offended. But here's my apology and 1 more thing FUCK YOU!" Take it Stuntman Mike!

4 / 5 stars

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